![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
>>
>>
'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
>> The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
>> All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
>> When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
>> When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
>> I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
>> The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
>> The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
>> And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
>> As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
>> And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--
>> I said to myself, as I only can
>> "You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
>>
>> So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
>> Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
>> Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
>> 'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
>> I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
>> I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
>> I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
>> I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
>> I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
>> But isn't that what January is for?
>> Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
>> Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
>>
As we rush through Christmas seasons
With our gifts, and food galore
We might forget to take the time
To recall what the holiday’s for
To me, you see, its Christmas time
Where our hearts are filled with giving
The time to sit and remember those
Both who’ve passed and those still living
To fill our hearts with memories
Of times we’ve shared together
With friends and family near and far
Through all the stormy weather
The wish I have for you, my friends
Is that on Christmas Eve you find
That all the love that’s sent your way
Is the one thing on your mind
No worries of the year to come
Of tasks still yet to do
No thoughts except the knowledge
That people care for you
So as the time approaches fast
I send you on your way
With the prose I write to wish for you
A lovely Christmas Day
Merry Christmas Everyone!
A=ALL
D=DAY
I= I
D=DREAM
A=ABOUT
S=SEX
NOW BACKWARDS
S=SEX
A=ALL
D=DAY
I=IN
D=DADS
A=APARTMENT...................HEHEHE NOW YOU KNOW..
>made of
> Saran Wrap.
>
> The psychiatrist says, "Well...I can clearly see you're nuts."
I AM SOFA KING RE TODD IT..........
now thats too funny!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!
Which Part of Your Body Goes To Heaven First??
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven which part of your body goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs."
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"
Little Johnny said, " I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was yelling, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming! " If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
The nun fainted.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> > >> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> > >> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> > >> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> > >> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> > >> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> > >> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> > >> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> > >> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> > >> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> > >> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> Once you've found the C..........
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> Find the 6!
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> 9999999999999999999999999999999999
> > >> 9999999999999999999999999999999999
> > >> 9999999999999999999999999999999999
> > >> 9999999999999999999999999999999999
> > >> 9999999999999999999999999999999999
> > >> 9999999999999999999999999999999999
> > >> 9999699999999999999999999999999999
> > >> 9999999999999999999999999999999999
> > >> 9999999999999999999999999999999999
> > >> 9999999999999999999999999999999999
> > >> 9999999999999999999999999999999999
> > >> 9999999999999999999999999999999999
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> Once you've found the 6...
> > >>
> > >> Find the N! (it's hard!!)
> > >>
> > >> MMMMMMMMMMMMM
> > >> MMMMMMMMMMMMM
> > >> MMMMMMMMMMMMM
> > >> MMMMMMMNMMMMM
> > >> MMMMMMMMMMMMM
> > >> MMMMMMMMMMMMM
> > >> MMMMMMMMMMMMM
> > >> MMMMMMMMMMMMM
> > >> MMMMMMMMMMMMM
> > >> MMMMMMMMMMMMM
> > >>
> > >> Once you've found the N...
> > >> make a wish!
> > >>
> > >>
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we dont know
Im just a regular Joe, with a regular job
Im your average white, suburbanized slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just aint enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone elses expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?"
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe theyre right when they tell me Im wrong...
Nah
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
You know what Im gonna do
Im gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And Im gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when Im done sucking down those greeseball burgers
Im gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then Im gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because weve got the bombs, thats why
2 words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
and it wont make a lick of difference
Because weve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, hes frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
Were gonna thaw out the duke and hes gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
Thats how pissed off the dukes gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes,
and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey,
and drive down to Texas and say.....
(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
Im an asshole (hes an asshole.what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
EVERYBODY
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Im an asshole and Im proud of it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Mood:
crazy
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."
anyone feel free to answer this queston??? then post it in your journal to see what responses you get
Faces look ugly when youre alone
Women seem wicked when youre unwanted
Streets are uneven when youre down
When youre strange
Faces come out of the rain
When youre strange
No one remembers your name
When youre strange x3
People are strange when youre a stranger
Faces look ugly when youre alone
Women seem wicked when youre unwanted
Streets are uneven when youre down
When youre strange
Faces come out of the rain
When youre strange
No one remembers your name
When youre strange x3
When youre strange
Faces come out of the rain
When youre strange
No one remembers your name
When youre strange x3
woo-hoo.... It was fun fun fun,
thinking this is a great idea....
Would anyone like to receive a Christmas card from moi????
leave me your name/ address in comments
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg.
The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod
are,
the
olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the
rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it
whotuit
a
pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot
slpeling was ipmorantt!
- Mood:
disappointed
tsunami is coming!!!!! take cover.............ahhhhhhhhhhhh
I want ..... i want ..... i want holiday Barbie....Not really liking her this year, but she is a must have.....
